In the past, I’ve announced my drinkin’ after the fact, and the whole “You bastards can ask me anything, and I’ll tell you jutsts what I thinkk ofyou” angle has fallen a bit flat. Tonight, I’ll make an exception—I’ll pre-emptively announce it. I need to run a few errands, but I should be back by about 10:00 EST. After that, I’ll be drinking some gin. After that, you bastards can ask me anything, and I’ll tell you just what I think of you. I promise either buzzed honesty or plausible-sounding lies.

This has been your warning.