Tonight on Biiiiiiig Broooooother*: our long strange nightmare finally comes to an end. It’s the Season Finale, y’all!

When we last left our heroes on Sunday...well, nothing happened. It was a stupid Flashback episode where they forced on us even MORE Austin and Liz sucking face, Vanessa parannoying all over the place, and Steve being Steve (in other words, asking every woman in the house if he could call them “mommy.”)

What we’re gonna need here is some speculation:

• Vanessa, Liz, and Steve have started the first part of the Final HOH and they’re all going to drop at the same time, for a first ever triple elimination and winless Big Brother

• Austin is being a Bitter Betty in the jury house

• James and Meg are probably watching Titanic for the thousandth time

• Julia’s dragging Austin’s name all over the jury house

• Jackie is being awesome, cracking jokes, and getting drrrrunk

• Becky is telling John over and over again that she told him so, and John is saying “I KNOW!” in a very loud muppet voice and throwing his hands up. He wanted to get blood on his hands so bad!

• Oh, and Shellie’s there

Tonight’s the final episode! Who’s gonna win HOH? Who’s gonna win the game? Remember when we were robbed of Day (I'm still not over it). On a scale of 0-.0000001, how much do you care who wins?

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And finally, something that’s been rattling around in my brain: If the house guests were Muppets, which ones would they be?

This one’s so obviously Vanessa, right?

*Special shout-outs to Smuckles (from whom is stolen the Biiiiig Broooooother thin) and Mr. McGibbs for being the most awesome of Live Thread hosts!!!

The thread’s open now! Post your comments below.