Apparently protesting some ice-cream-related injustice, she ran screaming through my garden and barricaded herself in a tool shed on the edge of our property.

In other news: I have a tool shed. Lived here for three years. No idea.

My house mate assured me that there is no lock inside the tool shed, which means her mother is just doing that ineffective-yuppie-mom thing where she quietly tries to reason with an angry shrieking mammal whose brain is not fully formed. Who is also in close proximity to sharp objects. When she could just open the door and physically remove her from our chamber of agricultural horrors.

Do they make Dora Band-Aids in rake-to-the-face size?