I have always been a smoker. In fact I have spent 19 years of my 33 going on 34 life as a smoker. On Monday, Ms. Lips and I found out her dad’s wife had stage 4 cancer, in her lungs and lymphnodes. I need to stop. She didn’t ask me to. The altitude gets me sometimes, I am not happy chucking out 6 bucks a day, I have put on some weight going back into cooking.

I am doing it for myself. It is something that needs to stop. I have tried quitting a bunch. It last for a while, then I just go back to it. When we go hiking in the mountains, I am the first to lose my breath.

I need to shake this feeling it is my nature. Like I was born with a cig in my hand.

I named my last smoke death. That is not how I want to leave this place.