The Dude and I have had a couple of fights before, but this was the first that made me afraid it could be over. Like many a fight it had no particular root. We had a couple of weeks where we didn't have as much fun with each other. I dwelled on negative stuff, he didn't say that bothered him, and we ended up spending more time apart than usual. On Friday night I made the huge and very rare mistake of yelling at him on the phone and spent most of yesterday terrified everything was over.
For me it comes down to never being sure. We've made plans to move in early next year, I have promised to go to DC if he gets a job there (and he's ecstatic about that and has offered to support me financially if I want to write full-time), but I still freak out and feel insecure sometimes. It is beyond irrational and I know that a ring and a ceremony isn't the end-all be-all. The roots have to be the day my father died - it was out of nowhere, it changed my whole life and all but ruined my mother's. No warning and no good explanation. I have turned into a walking abandonment cliché. Anyway, I told him all this. We're sticking with it.
What do you have for me, my wise Clashtalkers?