Can't post to GT because I am an abrasive asshole, but hey...that's part of why Kirov loves me.

She's my favorite person in the world, hands down. She's fiercely intelligent, makes jokes I refuse to laugh at on principle (but do so despite myself, especially when she pouts and says "you don't think I'm funny!"), she makes fun of me in ways that I can't help find endearing, she challenges me to better myself, she supports me when I'm struggling with self doubt, and loves me better than any girl I've ever known. She's also blazingly hot, and makes all other women look to me like ungainly swamp beasts.

She's the best thing that ever happened to me, and I am glad that she stalked me through Jez comments, Groupthink, the Facebook group that formed after Kinja until I finally capitulated. And when I see her name show up in my email or in a text, or when I hear her voice or see her face, I think to myself, "I am the luckiest son of a bitch in the world."

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She is going to make fun of me for this, but secretly she likes it when I'm vocal about how much I adore her. Love you, babe!