So this is my last day visiting my mom and I’ve spent the majority of my time going through my old stuff trying to get rid of things. There’s lots of very embarrassing things. You all can decide which one is the most embarrassing.

• A picture of me with a perm as a 9 year old.

• My Backstreet Boys fan fiction that I wrote as a young teen.

• Giving myself a job at the Village Voice in this fan fiction.

• Thinking I could afford a “house” as a 21 year old in NYC on my Village Voice salary in this fan fiction.

• Having to decide between two Backstreet Boys in this fan fiction. (AJ and Nick, if you’re wondering)

• This line as said by Nick in this fan fiction: “Your eyes tell me everything I need to know and everything I shouldn’t.” 🙄🙄🙄

• Deciding that being a 21 year old virgin in the fan fic would be a good plot device.

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• In a different fan fiction giving myself a job at a record store and explaining the band New Order to a Backstreet Boy (AJ) as if they were very underground.

• Actually wanting to finish these stories because I think I could write them better now.

• Finding a sheet of paper with my goals to accomplish (written in high school) that include, in this order: intern at mtv networks, start doing community theater, involve myself in standup comedy, graduate to a small part in a broadway play, apply for a position as a VJ at MTV, audition for a part on SNL, LAND part on SNL, BECOME FAMOUS.

• Literally every photo of me from high school.