As everyone on the internet has now weighed in, I thought I'd take a moment to say that I don't give a damn about Miley Cyrus one way or the other.

And that her "provocative" performance didn't offend me.

(Rihanna, Britney Spears, and Madonna don't offend me either.)

She's a young person. Her thing, whatever it is, is not at all like my thing.

Such is life.

Ultimately, the number of units (be they downloads, magazines, or yogurts) that she moves over the next few years will be the judge of whether her appearance at the VMAs was "embarrassing" or "amazing."

Again, such is life.

As for her back-up dancers being used as "props," I thought that's what back-up dancers were.

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Personally, I just liked seeing a girl with a really big ass on stage for a change.