Presenting a virtuoso section from a review of Coldplay's latest work rendered here in proper British.

Never in human fecking history, since fish first slithered onto the fecking land and sprouted limbs has there been a more nondescript fecking decade than the fecking Noughties and never has there been a more nondescript fecking group than those gelatinous cuntlords Coldplay! They made Dido sound like Bessie fecking Smith! They filled the giant fecking void in pop culture in the early 21st century because they are a giant fecking void! Somehow, Martin's knack for trudging up and down a keyboard like a middle aged man in fecking chinos strolling to the fecking corner shop to buy the fecking Daily Express while singing like he'd just been kneed in the fecking bollocks caught the zeitgeist of the dullest, do-nothing, think-wishfully generation of all fecking time! In the rock & roll hall of fame they sit near the fecking exit like a fecking birch veneer occasional fecking table! Getting excited about fecking Coldplay is like getting excited about the fecking Liberal Democrat Spring conference!

Enjoy the rest here. H/T to Sean Brody

As promised, some gratuitous music videos. Who wants to see Tom Petty getting goth with Kim Bassinger, Basinger... How do you pronounce this?

Next some vocoder goodness and probably the track Imogen Heap will be remembered for.