-I have houseplants that are getting more sunlight than I am
-I unplugged my alarm clock because I found its ticking noise to be annoying
-I have fifty-something red lipsticks and two pencils
-I wash down my anxiety medicine with energy drinks, that I mix packs of sugar substitute into, before school
-I don't do homework until three hours before it is due
-I found an old diary that I thought I threw away—— I have realized if I am half as insufferable as I was when I was sixteen I am still pretty horrible

I'm Rene'e-Bridget Jones-Zellweger, only not as pretty or fakey British.