So several years ago I bought a bike, the first one I'd owned since I was a kid. I found that whoever coined the phrase "it's just like riding a bike" is a damned liar, as one of two things had happened in the intervening years: 1) My inner ear had completely ceased to function, leaving my incapable of balancing myself; or 2) It's actually quite easy to forget how to ride a bike. Shortly thereafter I moved to a place that had little room and not many opportunities for biking, so off it went into storage.

Until last week, that is. Now it's on my balcony, and I'm not sure what to do with it. I'd really like to go riding again, but I figure it's going to take practice to get past the "fall over every three feet" stage, which I am not exactly excited about going through in front of my neighbors. A new set of training wheels is probably out. Someone really needs to open a facility for otherwise kinda functional adults to do things that most people have been doing for years and years without any judgment. Forgot how to ride your bike? Here, ride it on our track. Never figured out how to tie your shoes? Put away that Velcro and practice on our giant sneaker. Still don't know how to apologize for taking a leak in the water fountain? Let this trained actor playing a stern yet understanding HR professional listen to your explanation.