Stop following so much weird shit on twitter that I'm constantly getting those Well Thunder Lips follows these people so you should too—— messages. Twitter wants me to follow Wheat Thins and also some Asian restaurant and i09, because THUNDER LIPS DOES.

I'm also kinda pissed off that you've been on twitter like a month and already have twice as many followers as I do.

As it happens, two of those hobos I wouldn't charge rent to got into a fight on the chip aisle and ripped open a ton of bags. So I gathered up what I could into sandwich baggies and am selling the "Variety Snack Bags" for fifty cents a piece. Anyone who volunteers to help scrub hobo blood off of the floor, gets the Klashtalk Kwik Shop version of "Seven Minutes in Heaven" with me in Thunder Lips' office, "Fifteen Minutes of Mediocrity".