Step up your game, people.

—I'm over here in the kitchen with Chef Jim. So, what are you doing, Jim?

—Waiting for the segment to start.


—Now Jim, I know you've got kids at home; what do you do to get them ready for school in the morning?

—You have no right to talk about my family on air.


—So, Jim, what have you been thinking about recently?

—Does a statute of limitations end on midnight of the day, or is it at the end of normal business hours?


—Welcome back to cooking with Chef Jim. What's up, Jim?

—You know, "exposure," sure, I'll cop to that. But "indecent" is too subjective a category.


—This is great, Jim. Is there anything you can't do?



—This is absolutely delicious, Jim. Is there anything you can't do?

—Find love.

—Oh...well, I meant in the kitche—

—I eat to dull the feelings.

—(Nervous chuckle) That's our Chef Jim, always the kidder—

—Your laughter only deepens my pain.

—I'm...I'm sorry, Jim, I didn't realize you were serious.

—No, you're right. Let's laugh and laugh and laugh! It's great! Now let's eat some more fucking cheesecake!


—You're pretty fast with the knife there, Jim. Tell us, do you ever cut yourself?

—I don't cut myself.

—Oh, okay, then...

—She's my daughter, you son of a bitch!

—Hey, she's 20—she can do what she wants.

—So can I, Dan. So can I.

—What's that supposed to—

—You'll find out during the commercial.

—Oh. (To camera) Hey...hey Mike? Can we just keep this segment going for a while?