Portland Issues Boil Alert, Citizens Brush Their Teeth With Whiskey Instead

It's kind of baffling how few people seem to realize that restaurants cannot function without clean running water. People are flocking to bars and restaurants. A buddy who works downtown said it feels like the douchebag rapture downtown.

Really hoping the city gives the all clear before my shift tomorrow. Working brunch without being able to serve coffee will be hell. I'd rather get E. coli, honestly.