Yes, I'm shouting that because I have a Napoleon complex.


  • No need to worry about the height of your date, if that matters to you
  • Ability to get clothes altered to fit (not like they can make pants longer, amirite?)
  • Low center of gravity improves balance and dancing ability
  • Always in front row of group pictures, i.e., never some goofy disembodied head sticking up in the back
  • Charmingly ask cute boys/girls to get something for you off the top shelf at a store - automatic pickup line!
  • Lower alcohol tolerance = lower booze costs
  • Fit through any doorway! Live in any remote cave! Sleep on any loveseat!
  • Can pose as middle-schooler for sake of journalism or spying on your children
  • Easily slip through the crowd at concerts and get to the front
  • Less surface area for mosquito bites, bloody splashes of Ebola