Here's something you can do with your newfound freedom after you've been given some kinda wimpy banning from le Gawkerre— fix your sweatshop shoes! ...it's so easy...

Get yourself some hempcord, needle (pic 1) a whipstitch and some goo to close-up the hole that found it's way in to your ninja skippers, after you dropkicked a cinderblock during one of your part daydream-part nightmare-part improv giggle fits, you were having when you and your buddies were all kindsa blacked out, and get that gaping wound in your sneakers essentially water tight, and under control again...

Now get the kids out of the room, and shoo away any other tenderfolk— and, just, cram, that, mother$(&@$KIN F_@(&$# GAAWD DAA(*&(@&$ NEEDlE(&* WHAT IN THE__ F))()(&@(U$ WHY IN THE F)(&@#$#BALLS C0(KKJSLJBLJBALJBG!! ... cool, get first stitch done? now repeat the process until you get it sewn up...

...So, You're BannedS

Next, slather that black shit all over the stitch (neatly, come on, you're not a kindergartner, are you?) And there ya go! Shove some of it in the seems that've been coming unglued, and maybe wait till things dry out and trim all the boogers down with a very sharp blade. And there you have it! Hopefully your shoes are black, cuz, I don't know what to tell ya if they're not...

...So, You're BannedS

Repeat the process on any shoes you got! ...hopefully on some easier going material that blew out when you were too lazy to untie you shoes when you were slippen'em on or off— because, holyshit!

...So, You're BannedS