Kendra Wilkinson’s laugh, that godawful sound like a goat’s bleat mated with machine gun fire, IS FUCKING FAKE.

Per Holly Madison’s book, which I am reading the shit out of:

In the beginning, Kendra was very quiet. The raucous deep-throated cackle that became her trademark on GND was something she affected in order to stand out. I know I have no place to talk when it comes to annoying laughs, but with Kendra, it was clear she was just being as loud as possible in order to make sure every head in the room turned her way.

“Why is Kendra laughing like that?” one of the visiting Playmates had asked me, unaccustomed to the new sound. “She’s so annoying! If no one is paying attention to her, she just screams out of the blue!”

I just shrugged my shoulders, hoping it was just a passing phase. But Kendra wouldn’t shut it off until she was certain all eyes were on her. The laugh never did vanish, though. Even today she still adopts that cackle. I bet by now it’s almost natural. Almost.

YOU GUYS, SHE IS DOING THAT SHIT ON PURPOSE. SHE IS MAKING THAT PUNISHMENT-NOISE ON PURPOSE. I’m pretty sure it says in the Constitution that she is a crime against humanity and must be fed to sharks. And that the sharks must be shot into space when they’re done eating.

On purpose. She does it on purpose. That sound.

I hate her so much I hope it makes her face catch on fire.