Okay, I didn’t want to DERAIL meaghan’s post about how much she despises Lifehacker, so I am wastefully creating a new post for this extraordinarily critical query.

When blathering about my inability to manage my life, I mentioned a bench that is in my “entry.” I first typed “entryway” but that sounded really Midwestern Real Estate Lady to me, so I changed it. But “entry” sounds vaguely dirty (I blame Rocky Horror: “SERVANT’S ENTRANCE IS IN THE REAR!”)

But I digress. I am derailing my own post. What do you call the space when you enter your home, before you’re in any sort of official room? Entry? Entryway? Front hall? Entrance hall? Foyer? And if so do you say “Foy-YAY” or “FOYyur”? Or is it one syllable for you: “Foire”? I think I say “entryway” but I’ve thought about it too much now and it all sounds like Farsi. Waiting room? Welcome chamber? Filthy Rug Zone? Bootlandia?

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I think I might call mine “Ethel” from now on. I am creeeyaytive like that.

My house. SHUTUP, YOU DONT KNOW ME. WELCOME TO ETHEL.