After having spent a few weekends with sports parents from these suburbs, I would suggest the sign be retrofitted with flashing neon.
Last summer, my daughter went to a camp with some of these types of kids. She came back talking of a couple girls having sports nutritionists and personal trainers. This was in 4th grade.
Its times like these that I am happy the vast majority of the parents at my kid's school are sane and have perspective. Or maybe they are saving their competitive juices for the high-school placement exams.