Friend: Hey, Bart, meet my friend Anne, we were friends in Bordeaux.

Me: Hi, Anne.

Anne: Where are you from?

Me: Cambodia.

Anne: Really? What brought you here?

Me: After you've killed 1,000 peasants it gets dull, I was looking for new challenges.

Anne: What do you do now?

Me: I kidnap dwarfs and keep them chained in my basement. Once a month I charge money to let people watch them fight each other with straight razors for food.

Anne: Umm..... how do you know (friend)?

Me: I was running this lesbian brothel in Vietnam called "Leche Le Timbre" and she was one of my best girls. When I heard the police were going to napalm the place I saved her from being burned alive and sent her to Bordeaux.

Anne: Interesting.

Me: Have you ever burned anyone to death with cigarettes?

Anne: Yes, do you need help with your technique?