In order to preserve religious freedom, we will be continually revising corporate HR policy to not conflict with established religious beliefs. While a thorough revision will take time, here are a few of the measures that will take place immediately:
In keeping with 1 Tim 2:12, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet" only men will be allowed to be managers. In addition, female employees will no longer be allowed to speak. Since these limitations reduce their value to the business, women will also be paid less as a matter of rule.
Based on Prov 10:6 and 29:19, corporal punishment will be replacing the current new employee training program: "Blessings are for the head of the just, but a rod for the back of the fool" and "by words no servant can be trained; for he understands what is said, but obeys not." Current employees may also be subject to whipping at the discretion of management as a means of ad hoc performance counseling.
In coming weeks we will be clarifying policy around:
- whether acquiring slaves from neighboring nations falls under the employee purchase plan (Lev. 25:44)
- revising the dress code regarding the wearing of garments made of two different kinds of thread (Lev 19:19)
- avoiding contact with menstruating female colleagues (Lev 15:19-24)
- monthly all-hands meetings to stone blasphemers (Lev 24:10-16)
And finally, a lunchtime reminder: The eating of shellfish such as shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, or mussels is an abomination (Lev 11:10), and therefore is not allowed in the employee break room.