I want you, wherever you are, to say the following phrase out loud: artisanal toast.

"Wait!" you're saying, "As I said it, my hand instinctively started making the wanking motion without me even thinking about it! What am I supposed to tell the teacher/boss/warden/Archbishop, who's now giving me an odd look?"

To your first point, that's what instinctive means, so of course you didn't have to think about it. To your second, you probably shouldn't be browsing the Internet in class or prison,* and don't mistake the Archbishop's amorous gaze for the side-eye.

I'm convinced that it's impossible to say the words "artisanal toast" without making the wanking motion at the very idea. To be honest, I don't even know if it's possible to read the words silently without doing it.


*-And no, the warden and/or teacher was not fooled by your attempts to disguise your Internet browsing until this very moment. He or she is simply worried that your spoiled ass will either sue or shank him if he calls you out (oddly enough, both outcomes are equally likely to happen regardless of the setting being a school or prison).