I'm beginning to think that Nilla is the only legitimate green-eyed, auburn-haired beauty around here, you bunch of liars. But it has me thinking, who would you be tickled to find as a commenter's secret identity?

Vaguely related: does anyone remember that time a Gawker commenter claimed to be Bronson Pinchot (and led me to read this very candid interview)? Is it a coincidence that his initials are BP? That's weird.

Anyway, what are your hopes?