...is flipping channels right now in his Undisclosed Location in Nada Cajones, FL, and has come across A Christmas Story?

How does America's new painting prodigy view it?

Does he see it as the story of a red-blooded American male who, despite being told over and over it is a bad idea that if he got a gun, eventually gets one? The triumph over the naysayers overshadowing the sting of eventual self-harm?

Or, does he see the story of an inner-city youth(ever been to Hammond, IN?), who despite having multiple priors, is allowed by negligent parents to pose a danger to all the law-abiding home owners in the neighborhood? A failure by the schools, the police, and his permissive parents. They always get away!

Or, does he just flip past it to re-runs of COPS? After all, Christmas is when they run the Ho!Ho! Ho! episodes, and its been a while for George, since his baby mama threw him out.