It begins like this:

All of Luke Perry’s obituaries have the word heartthrob right there in the headline. It’s a weird word, fusing a noun and a verb with two stuttering little Ts bridging the space between thing and action. It’s our hearts Perry caused to throb, but he’s the one who was the heartthrob. He’s the thing that moves us to action.

All right then.

Just 6,000 more words to go.