"Dick size doesn't matter."

"Are you crazy? I can't have a vaginal orgasm unless it's decent."

"It doesn't matter because I'm good at oral sex."

"Yeah, I don't care because my guy is good at oral sex."

"You are good at oral sex because you have a small penis."

"Oral sex isn't sex."

"You only think that it's fine that your boyfriend is good at oral sex because you've never had a real penis."

"God, size queens are such special snowflakes."

"I like small penises. Big ones hurt."

"You should see a gynecologist about that. You don't know what you are missing."

"It's only dudes that care about dick size. I'm a woman and I don't care."

"What makes you think you can speak for all women?"

"Isn't this just part of male gaze and the patriarchy."

"I didn't think penis size mattered until I met my new boyfriend."

"It doesn't matter usually but once I was with a guy with micropenis. It was awful."

"I actually felt so bad once when I asked a guy if it was in yet. So glad I'm not dating him anymore."

"Want to see a pic of my big dick?"

"Ewww. No go away. Where are the mods?"

"How do you people deal with it when it hits your cervix?"

"Ouch, I hate that!"

"Me too!"

"But it hurts in a good way!"

"Why are guys so hung up on penis size?"