Even the monumentally bigoted assholes.

Let’s say that you’re a gay couple in Dallas and you want to get married. Let’s further say that you didn’t do a ton of research beforehand and decided, hey, what the heck, let’s go with this James DiPiazza guy. He’s a judge, he has to follow the law, he’ll perform the ceremony, right?

Well, only if you agree to his terms. Which include acknowledging that his precious Christian feelings are hurt by being in the same room with gays. And that you can’t take pictures. And that he’s not performing a marriage, but merely serving as a witness to your marriage, which he doesn’t agree with (and which, as a reminder, you have to sign a form saying that you’re okay with him being a bigot).

Texas: Breathing a sigh of relief every time we remember that Bugs saws off Florida, not us (TM).