I've probably been due for one for a while, so I shouldn't be surprised that I'm currently feeling like I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, and nothing I've ever done has mattered in any way. Seems to happen every so often.

Presumably I will eventually crawl out of this hole, but does it even matter whether I do or don't?

I struggle with depression and I'm currently unmedicated, so again, these are not foreign feelings. I'm just in a slump and can't seem to shake the feeling that nothing I do is worth anything or matters in any way. And unfortunately, that seems to make it really hard to do necessary productive things like complete my work, or clean my house, or take my neglected dog for a proper walk. Ugh, poor guy. I feel very guilty that I haven't been giving him enough attention lately. And bearddamnheroes has been working like 24/7 for the last several months, so it's really a bad time for me to be slacking for no particular reason.

I just keep circling back to the question posed to me a couple weeks back - "where do you see yourself in five years?" I don't know. I just don't fucking know. Probably in the exact same place I am right now because I failed to do anything to change course. (Incidentally, I'm guessing that very cliche question does not spur a total existential crisis for most normal people. At least I managed to save face in that moment by mumbling some cliche answer, rather than collapsing into a blubbering mess in the corner.)


Advice or sympathy welcome. Or, you know, tell me to GTFO with my self-important whining. That'd be fine too.


Blame Zuzax for making me feel like I should speak up since CLT has been a bit slow lately anyway.