It's time for us to have a very important discussion here at Clashtalk. Do you fart in front of your significant other? If you don't currently have a sig-o, did you fart in front of previous partners?

My answer: No. Never. Hell no. Sure, involuntary gaseous emissions rumble out of all of us from time to time despite our best intentions, but no, I have never and will never voluntarily toot in front of my husband. There's very little in life I'm prudish about, but I was raised to believe that it's improper to deliberately or voluntarily let 'er rip in front of others. I was thrilled when I found a man with a similar upbringing, because prior to my husband, I'd only ever been involved with guys who delighted in dutch ovens and liberally sharing their butt-music with the world. Hell, some of my ex-boyfriends even thought it was fun to hold me down and fart on me. The sensation of someone's ass cheeks vibrating against my chest is one I could happily have lived my entire life without experiencing firsthand.