Within the last hour, the Tuscaloosa News reported, and then retracted, the news that Kenny Stabler had died. The Tuscaloosa News can go fuck itself with an Auburn football helmet.

My buddy submitted that he was probably just unconscious. That amused me a great deal (Kenny Stabler is a legendary drinker). But still, you would think a crappy newspaper in a crappy state would at least be able to get a handle on whether or not one of its greatest citizens was breathing or not.

NOT COOL, BR0S. Not cool.

UPDATE #1

Now they’re saying he’s dead again, with the source being his ex-wife. Time is a flat circle, and Kenny Stabler is playing frisbee with it. Stay tuned...