You are a character in a novel. The author has one paragraph to introduce you to the readers. What is that paragraph?

Here's mine - but I want to hear what paragraph you think a writer would use to introduce you.

"He sits there and responds to his friend at the bar, "She's not German, she's from Seattle." There is a drag of a cigarette as he wonders if it's his turn to buy a round and if it's worth it even if it is. He looks around, he sees the girl who hit on him a week or three weeks ago. She had a bad laugh and worse ideas so he'd told her he was gay. She sits next to the Seattle girl and he wonders if that will come back to haunt him. Is she the type of girl who will judge him for his beer belly? She looks like the type who might like it. It might make her feel safe when she falls asleep with a memory of a tongue in a carnal rage. The nicotine in him reminds him vaguely, in a way, not one that can be explained, of cocaine nights and backpacker girls. He looks up and without having to say a word a new beer and shot of vodka appear in front of him. It is 2 p.m. and his day won't end for a long time. Cigarette ash stains his black clothes."

Your turn.