As a college football fan, I've often wondered how Steve Spurrier, years removed from his heyday, still manages to land great recruits. Now I know—he takes a hands-on approach to the job:

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On another note, how do people not know the various euphemisms for this kind of thing? A while back I went to get a haircut, and a woman was there with her son—she complained that the last time she brought him in for a haircut, the stylist "Just whacked it off" without asking how long he wanted his hair. A few days later, our secretary came in to work with a different haircut, and when I complimented it, she said, "I got tired of the long hair, so I went in, got whacked off, and it feels so much better."

I mean, sure, it usually does feel better, and it's a great way to relieve stress when you're tired of it all, but what does that have to do with hair?