I was reading a cracked article on the shit no one tells you about college and I found out I'm completely and utterly screwed for the rest of my life forever.

You're now on academic probation, so you have to pay for the next semester out of your own pocket. If you flunk a few classes this time, you'll be put on suspension and not be allowed to attend again for a full year. If you're in junior college preparing to transfer to a four-year university, you might as well hit the reset button and try again from scratch, because until you pull your head out of your ass and redo this clusterfuck, you're not going anywhere.

I was already on probation after completely and totally bombing two classes that were completely useless, now I've bombed two classes that were required.

I had no idea how entirely I've fucked myself until right this moment.

Brb, jumping off a bridge.