That lately, instead of doing anything creative or productive, I've been spending a lot of my time playing video games. By "a lot" I mean, of course, nearly every bit of free time that I have available.

Well, the office—where the Xbox is—window is open, and I was sitting here just now, taking a break from Battlefield 4, when I noticed that I could hear, pretty perfectly, the conversation that the lawn maintenance guys three houses down were having. Which is alarming, considering how loudly I scream at the television when the games aren't going my way. The games don't often go my way. And I'm not yelling "doggone it!" here, people. I'm belting out some vile shit.