As some of you know, I’m in Indiana. I live in one of three liberal dots in the state (Indianapolis, Gary, Bloomington). We’ve got a useless democrat in the Senate (Joe Donnelly) and he is unlikely to be primaried, so he’ll be running against one of the winners below in the fall. The Republican primary is on Tuesday. As you can imagine, our TV is filled with trash ads. Guns! Walls! Unborn Babies! Unborn babies building walls with guns! America!

I’ll share some of the best examples, but it’s important to note that Indiana (R) candidates have outspent the rest of the nation on ad buys. So some herd of gun-toting, bible-snorting, bigoted dipshits paid really good money for this trash.

There are three names to know; Luke Messer, Todd Rikita, and Mike Braun. Braun is the front-runner, but after watching these ads see if you can tell a difference between him and the other two, because I sure can’t.

Meet Mike:

Meet Todd:

Meet Luke:

You can see who’s getting the most Mercer/Koch monies by the production values, but apparently not even Mercer money can buy you a good scriptwriter. I feel like it should be more obvious to conservative voters that the people who write these ads think the base is irredeemably stupid.

Advertisement

Aside - Rebekah Mercer is my doppleganger. We could pass for each other with no trouble. I’m delighted that now I’ve found my twin, it’s pretty assured that SHE is the evil one. *blesses you all with flowers*

What’s most amusing (by which I mean existentially murdering the good parts of me) is how they’re all still ride-or-die for Trump. Indiana may be overwhelmingly white, christian, and stuck in 1956, but our little blue dots are not. It would take a miracle, but if all the Indiana blues got out to vote in November, we could keep mediocre Joe in office and stop Moe, Larry, or Curly up there from getting in. Donnelly won’t do much more than keep the seat warm, but we could find a great candidate by the time the seat is in question again.

That means getting people excited about this guy, which is gonna be a challenge...

The good news is we have a lot of young, energetic, and diverse people running for local offices. Hypothetically, we should have some interesting house and senate races in the next decade or so. The bad news is that there’s a second Pence rising in the ranks. And that one of these fellas is going to win unless unseasoned chicken cutlet with a side of unflavored ice milk Donnelly surprises us all. Hopefully there will still be something left to govern when the new fresh faces get that far.