I had been planning to make a triumphant post about deciding to leave my job. I appreciated the advice and shared experience from all of you, especially RN who was the lone dissent vote. I split the difference when my work agreed to let me take a couple months leave before making a final decision (which will almost certainly be to leave, but I have a bit of a safety net to change my mind). At this point I’ve been out of work for about a week, and it’s been really nice to have the extra time with the baby.

But also things have been tough. Our dog was diagnosed with lupus about a year ago, and had a flare-up a month or two ago. About two weeks ago, he got a nosebleed that wouldn’t stop. We took him to the emergency vet, but 3.5 hours and $500 later (we had had to argue against the initial proposal of $2k worth of testing), we were on our way home with nothing to really show for it, bleeding slightly slower than before. The next day (still bleeding) we followed up with our normal vet, who said it was likely either cancer (tumors in the sinuses) or an infection. We discussed the fact that he was a senior German Shepherd and we weren’t going to go to extreme measures. We decided to treat with doxycycline and see what happened. Several days of stress and many bleached loads of towels later, he went to sleep in his bed and didn’t wake up again.

In retrospect, maybe it would have been better to put him down, I don’t know. His last few days were certainly uncomfortable. But at that point, we were still thinking he might recover if we gave the doxy time to work.

I have some guilt over the fact that since the baby, he didn’t get as much attention as he used to. But he was also getting old, and didn’t really enjoy walks the way he used to, and was generally happy to just lounge around the house with us. I think we gave him a decent life, and certainly better than his former life - he was a rescue.

On his last night, bearddamnheroes and I “slept” on the couch, frequently getting up to check on him. He had refused dinner and we both felt like it was probably the end. I keep replaying in my mind when I found him. And then the worst part was that because it was the middle of the night, we had to do something with him until the vet opened in the morning.

We’ve gone from a three pet household down to one in the last four months.

Anyway, all that happened during my last week of work, and he died in the early hours before my last day. It was not the best timing, but I guess is there such a thing as good timing for a dog to die?

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So that’s all my major life changes lately. And now maybe we’ll lose our corner of the internet? I hope not, or at least that we can find somewhere new to congregate. I’ve found great comfort and support in our little community.

RIP buddy