I mean, if this crap can get published, my crap can get published.

Herewith, therefore, 62 scalding takeaways from The Academy, by M. Seles, Books 1 and 2.

1. This sentence: "'Only you can know how crappy that feels,' Maya said, empathizing."

2. This sentence: "Maya carefully stepped out of the Porsche Cayenne Turbo."

3. This sentence: "She needed to hit up a lingerie store."

4. These sentences: "'True,' Maya agreed. 'But the heart does not keep to a clock.'"

5. The fact that the Academy is a pristinely manicured 600-acre private high school that trains über-elite athletes in all sports, from tennis to golf to soccer to football; that it features "million-dollar villas" and a "cluster of stores" ranging from "Hermes and Versace to Prada and Manolo Blahnik"; yet that it is never given a name beyond "the Academy," as if Game of Thrones were set in a vast fantasy kingdom known only as "Map," or the Harry Potter series took place in a magical castle called "School."

God fucking dammit could that get more cringey.

Read the other 58 here.