1991: A half pack of Marlboro reds, stolen from a visiting handyman's toolbox, smoked behind the trees at Butterfield Park with my buddy Fat Joe.

1991-1992: Lots of Marb reds, bought at the local liquor store. We rode our bikes to this liquor, straight from junior high, with our backpacks on, and the owner never batted an eye while selling us squares.

1992-1996: Marb lights. Apparently my youthful fascination with full strength reds passed once I went to high school.

1996-1998: Newports. Why in god's mysterious name I ever smoked 'ports will never be known. They went well with all the other substances I was gobbling at the time I guess. Maybe the green box attracted me, who knows.

1998-2003: Camel lights. Thanks, east coast, for shaming me out of smoking cowboys.

2003-2008: Parliament Lights, hipster douchedom.

2008-Present: Ostensibly quit, so whatever the wife buys and tries to hide from me.