So I ate two bites of a beignet that had been sitting in a puddle of maple syrup for the last seven hours. Who wouldn't do that? So I wiped the syrup off my fingers with a napkin and threw it in the toilet. Who wouldn't do that, among those of us with first world plumbing?

You know who she needs to really worry about? THE MAN WHO COMES HOME FROM THE BAR AND SEES A BEIGNET SITTING IN A PUDDLE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND SAYS HMMM, THAT BEIGNET IS NOT FOR ME. That's the real snake in the grass, right there.