So let's say you're a yoga studio and you want to observe the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Stop right there, because you're heading into very dangerous, stupid territory. You want to continue? Sure, why not? Take it away, Bikram Yoga of Arlington, Virginia:

Considering that most of the time when people play around with the numbers involved in 9/11 it's to explain how the Illuminati were telling us they were the ones behind the attacks, I guess that's...I don't know...well, if that's the worst they do, then—

Oh. Honoring dead patriots with discounted yoga. Well, there's that. But hey, at least the person behind the promotion isn't trotting out the tired "attack everyone, then blame them for misunderstanding, then finally say, 'Okay, maybe I was wrong'" technique that everyone who has ever been a prick online has used—

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Jeez, Frank, you sound stressed. You know what would help you center yourself and relax? Doing some yoga. Fortunately, I know where you can get some real cheap.