Professional Internet dude and insane person Nick Denton, speaking to himself.

By The Maine Event (Associated Press)

New York - Internet mogul and Professional Troll has again changed his websites' commenting system, further pissing off every member of the commentariat that still, for some reason, remains on his overrated sites.

"At least he didn't do something that somehow lets racists become MORE prominent. So, it's a plus? I guess?" Duke University Professor Emeritus of Technology & Media Andrew Tobias said during his lecture today.

"Why the fuck doesn't he just go back to the old comment system? It was perfect. Fuck." Tobias went on. "I mean, Christ."

Denton, however has this to say to critics: "Fuck potato yellow orange orangutan cockmonster purple thirty-seven elevating discourse nipple monkey."

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"Penis." Denton finished, slobbering all over himself as his live-in male nurse force fed him pills and tried not to let Denton's saliva land all over the table.

Denton was unavailable for further comment, as the nurse had strapped him to the ceiling upside down in Denton's 'Room Filled With Satanic Bibles', presumably to edit the layout of his site further.