Screenshot: https://jezebel.com/alberts-24-hour-product-diary-lifestyles-of-a-feral-bl-1828227064

Let me guess:

“Look, I’m a regular dude, I write for Deadspin, all ya need is some store-brand soap and maybe a little shampoo every couple weeks, now let’s make fun of ladies who use lots of fancy products, haha, pass the Comet willya, I think I got a toe infection.”