I mean, yes, obviously. But specifically, I keep having comments disappear in one very long thread over at ROYGBIV (the top thread on the Texas Bra Shop post). The first time, I figured the person dismissed me.

For some background, this lady was defending the shop's decision to deny service to a trans woman, with the justification being that trans women (whom she refers to as "biological males", with the backing of "all of [her] biology professors") make her and her husband uncomfortable. She also got increasingly annoyed with various people trying to educate her on why that was a shitty attitude, and responded to people calling her transphobic by making up the word "monogaphopic" to describe people who are "butt hurt" about her being in a heterosexual marriage.

My reply to her was this (apologies, it's a long one):

I don't know if this is going to fall on deaf ears since you're now "out", but please try to consider the other side here. I don't think you're a hateful person, but I do think you're ignorant. That's fine; we're all ignorant at some point, but it would be good if you could make an effort to learn about these topics if you're going to comment about them.

Did "all of [your] biology professors" teach you that biological sex is an absolute binary? Because as a biologist, I can tell you that's a load of horse shit. A lot of things come into play with biological sex: chromosomes and genitalia are part of it, yes, but also hormones and brain chemistry. Many trans people alter their hormones without altering their genitalia, and that is enough to have an effect on one's biological sex. Beyond that, brain studies have shown that trans people do not tend to show the cerebral patterns expected from their sex assigned at birth. "Biological sex" is not as simple as penis vs. vagina, and you should understand that if you're going to make a biological argument.

If you choose to be modest, that's a personal choice that I can completely respect. But why do you feel that having a "biological male" overhear your conversations with a bra fitter is immodest? More immodest than if it were a "biological female"? What's the problem - everyone involved has breasts, so I don't see why modesty is a factor at all. You don't actually believe trans women are lurking in fitting rooms just to hear about other women's breasts, do you? Regardless, if you're very concerned with who is overhearing you, the logical solution is to have a personal fitting yourself, rather than trying to enforce your modesty on everyone around you.

(Also, is "monogaphopic" supposed to be anti-monogamy? Monogamy is not just reserved for heterosexual marriages; it means having a relationship with a single partner.)


It's still accessible from a direct link, but it doesn't appear if you're just browsing the thread. So I assumed it was dismissed, and then replied to someone else with the same text, commenting that I had been dismissed. Now that reply is gone too... what's happening here? Did the other person also dismiss me? Is Kinja just being weird?