I share two classes with the same middle aged guy. He always yells out the cringiest things that makes everyone else glance to whoever’s sitting near them in a nonverbal “what?”

Today the professor was five minutes late. As soon as he walks in, the dude jumps up and asks him about the ship that went down in the Bermuda Triangle.

Did I mention this was a history class?

Anyway, the teacher shuts him down as quickly as possible.

About halfway through the class, Old Guy has another question: “$5 billion for the Marshall Plan? What if we invested that in education?” Glances all around.

Do I mention he just shouts this stuff out, never raising his hand?

Shit really hit the fan a few minutes later when he asked “why does America get to make doctrines?” Stuff like the Monroe Doctrine, Eisenhower Doctrine, etc. A girl in the back shouts out “I think we should ban talking in class.” Then, finally, old dude says: “America is becoming like Hitler”

I wish I was making this up.

The guy in front of me says “did you just compare America to Hitler?”

The professor is trying vainly to restore order as a potential lynch mob is formed out of his class. Old dude tries to de-escalate the situation by saying “Hitler just wanted what was best for his people.”


I swear to you all this is god’s honest truth.

The professor regains order by threatening everyone with failure unless absolute silence is maintained.

But old dude isn’t having it. Ten minutes later, again without raising his hand “how do you spell ‘Warsaw?’”


When an offhand reference to Obama’s Syria policy is made “does he even have a Syrian policy?”

It is a miracle someone didn’t just punch him in the face. I was afraid the guy in front of me was gonna do it.

The professor spoke to him after class. Rumor has it there’s going to be a petition delivered to the dean of students to remove him from class on the grounds of “inappropriate behavior.”


If it’s true, I will sign it.