My boss gave me a written reprimand today. It listed my amount of sick leave taken for a chronic illness (which I did not bother him about, because he told me not to when I mentioned it before) and "unprofessional" conduct (including complaining to him about racist remarks made by the judge). He said he very much wanted to fire me two weeks ago when I missed a hearing because of an illness. I was admittedly unclear with the office manager that I was too sick to come in at all, because I was so fucking sick I could barely walk.

I have stopped going to my boss with problems related to the judge or job because any complaint I have (including the racist remark, and the time the judge forced a woman to sign a document in English threatening jail time with no translator to her native language) is met with derision and dismissiveness. He made clear through his treatment of the last juvenile attorney, and through his treatment of me, that he considers providing counsel for juveniles an obligation he wishes he didn't have.

Seriously, the last girl in my job was admonished for talking about cases on Facebook. A current office manager in another county, rather than being fired, has been assisted by our office manager instead. (That has left us short an investigator - an assistant to attorneys who manages files and serves subpoenas, because an investigator had to be promoted to part-time office manager.) I am the one singled out for retribution and threatened with firing.

I feel completely powerless. My wins in court - more frequent than my predecessor - have not been discussed at all. I've applied for four other jobs and lost all to interns or people with more experience. It is very, very possible I will be fired even for going to the dentist tomorrow morning. I am really scared.