So this particular month-old post has been parked at the top of the mainpage since the end of last week, right after they rolled their eyes at Hillary Clinton for... wait for it... attacking Donald Trump. Is this what we have to look forward to for the next five months?

I suppose it’s expecting too much for their campaign coverage to be anything other than a mixture of wall-to-wall Trump and patronizing lectures for Clinton, but we can dream, right?

To that end, this is an open call for Gawker Desalination Proposals. Clearly the mainpage needs our help, so why limit our unpaid content to the comments? Here’s your opportunity to dream big and pitch the Quintessential Gawker Summer Story (NO CLINTON ANKLE-BITING).

Imagine the possibilities!

Why Is Peter Thiel Closing His Blinds At Night? A Meditation On Transparency

Meet The Shadowy Cabal Behind Salmon-Colored Chino Shorts

Men Should Not Wear Pants [~4500 words]

Weddings Nick Attended in Brighton This Month: An Annotated List

Let’s Make The Mainpage Great Again!