Look, I’m not going to boycott every company on some of those pro-Trump lists going around. The #grabyourwallet list is useful, because it contains a lot of information (found here: https://grabyourwallet.org/), but I’m not boycotting every company on there.

I’m not going to boycott Trident gum because they advertise(d) on Celebrity Apprentice.

I’m not going to boycott Amazon or Nordstrom because they sell Ivanka’s products.

What I’m interested in is boycotting the companies who have loudly and proudly embraced Donald Trump, raised money for Donald Trump, and support his philosophies. You bet your sweet ass I’m never drinking a Yuengling, for example.**

But this shit right here, this is the good stuff. This is the shit that gets you right immediately into the top five. Now, I’ve never purchased or worn anything made by UnderArmour, and I never would, so I can’t effectively boycott it, but I’ll spread the word everywhere that this is a company that should immediately be boycotted by every patriotic American. Enjoy these loving words that UnderArmour CEO Kevin Plank mouth-shitted on CNBC last night:.

“He wants to build things. He wants to make bold decisions and be really decisive,” Plank said, alluding to Trump’s plans to build a wall along the US-Mexico border and pass a large infrastructure improvement bill.“I’m a big fan of people that operate in the world of ‘publish and iterate’ versus ‘think, think, think, think, think,’” Plank said. “So there’s a lot that I respect there.”


And this:

“To have such a pro-business president is something that is a real asset for the country,” Plank said. “People can really grab that opportunity.”

Not only are those words boycott-worthy in and of themselves, but when you throw in the not likely unintentional “grabbing” reference, this guy can go lubelessly fuck himself with two or three avocados.


That being said, I’m not so sure a boycott is necessary, since this guy’s company sucks monkey balls anyways. Their stock is in the shitter, they can’t figure out how to be a profitable corporation, and they fucking love Tom Brady.

Also, this is a smarmydoucheface. This is the textbook definition of smarmydoucheface.


So just remember that when you buy their shitty ass shoes and compression shorts from a company with one of the least ethical supply chains in America, that foreigners are perfectly fine to put together some shoes for a few pennies a week, but keep them the fuck out of ‘Murrica.

*I’m sure I’m not the first person to ever propose this, but in light of the Cheetocracy’s views towards women, perhaps any anti-trump business bans should be referred to as Girlcotts?


**Trump support aside, Yuengling tastes like what rest stop bathrooms smell like.