I have not touched this thing in years. It's some sort of red shade that I found to be sexy and edgy back when I was still young enough for those to be the most important factors when making a major purchase.

It's been on Craigslist for an hour now, and I haven't had one response. Not even a random dick-pic.

Even offered to lower the price in exchange for burrito delivery. What is wrong with you people? Why won't you give me money and bring me Mexican food?