Random thought on a post-Gawker death hangover Tuesday:

What is with these YETI coolers? How is there a $450 cooler that is the same size as one that I bought for like $30?

There is literally nothing that this cooler can do that would justify spending $450. You can buy an electric cooler for less than that. You can buy a fucking refrigerator for less than that. Or you could buy a normal cooler and more ice forever for less than that.

Does this cooler have wi-fi and an HBO Go password? Does it massage the prostate or clitoris when you take a beer out of it?

If you are the type of person who would spend $450 on a cooler, I can’t imagine I’d ever be your friend or even want to acknowledge the fact that you exist, but please justify yourself so I can mock and shame you.