I saw this story about Patton Oswalt writing a justification for leaving twitter.

And it struck me as the archetypal flounce, because it:

1. Denigrates what he's leaving

I've aggressively re-wired my own brain to live and die in a 140 character jungle. I've let my syntax become nothing more than a carnival barker's ramp-up to a click-able link where I'm trying to sell something, or promote something, or share something I had no hand in making.

2. Exalts where he's going

I want to de-atrophy the muscles I once had. The ones I used to charge through books, sprint through films, amble pleasantly through a new music album or a human conversation.


So I need to dry out, and remind myself of the deeper tides I used to be able to swim in — in pages, and celluloid, and sounds, and people.


3. And is pretentious.

Another writer I read some of, before nervously refreshing my Twitter "@" mentions or updating my e-mail Inbox, was Garret Keizer. An essay in Harper's from 2010. Luckily, Keizer writes the kind of sentences that, even in the all-night casino floor of a world we live in now, can punch through the din like God's gun. The line that stuck with me was this:

"For fear of becoming dinosaurs we are turned into sheep."

But did he remember to mention that he's been reading Camus's The Rebel, which is not on twitter?

I was reading some — not all — but some of Camus' THE REBEL.

Of course he did.